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Foreman Discovers Background Check Details

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What happens here

The foreman, wearing a hard hat and safety vest, sits in a vehicle holding a piece of paper. He reads the paper with increasing shock and amusement, expressing disbelief at the contents of his 'best worker' Bobby's background check. He questions the nature of the charges and makes comments about Bobby's character.

Goal: Reveal the comedic premise of the sketch

Tools and materials

  • Hard Hat BARNETT — Character costume element
  • Safety Vest — Character costume element
  • Background Check Document — Prop for the comedic narrative

What they say

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What the heck am I reading, dude? >> Okay, boss, what even is that? What are you reading? >> Bobby's background check, dude. It finally came back. >> Like the new guy, Bobby? >> Yeah. Yeah, the new guy. >> Well, is it good? Is it bad? What is it? >> Chris, it's bad, dude. I mean, nobody with this many charges needs to be a free citizen. I'm dead serious, dude. He needs TO BE INCARCERATED. BOBBY! [screaming] >> WHAT'S UP? >> BOBBY, COME HERE, DUDE. >> ALL RIGHT, I'M COMING. What's up, boss? What's the problem? >> Your background check came back. >> Oh. >> Oh. >> WHAT'S WRONG WITH >> I JUST GOT SOME QUESTIONS, DUDE. >> I got some answers. WHAT'S UP? >> BOBBY, WHY ARE YOU NOT ALLOWED WITHIN 100 ft of any school zone? >> Oh, yeah. That thing uh I had a few too many and I got caught taking a piss across from a playground. It ain't nothing serious. >> too many? >> Yeah, just a little >> Bobby, SCHOOL GETS OUT AT 3:00 P.M. >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> HOW ARE YOU THAT TORE UP AT 3:00 P.M.? >> I WASN'T. >> ON A TUESDAY, BOBBY. >> I WASN'T THAT TORE up though. I still had to drive back to the job site. >> Oh. >> I just had a real LONG LUNCH. >> OKAY, SO SO SO YOU WEREN'T TORE UP ENOUGH to where YOU COULDN'T DRIVE. >> RIGHT. >> BUT YOU WERE TORE UP ENOUGH TO WHERE you couldn't tell that you was IN A SCHOOL ZONE. >> RIGHT. >> MAKE NO FREAKING SENSE. >> OKAY, RIGHT. BUT I TRIED TO TELL the cops that, too. And they didn't think it was a good idea either. >> that's one of your four DUIs, Bobby. >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> HOW DO YOU STILL GOT A LICENSE? >> I DON'T. I DON'T GOT no license. No, I don't got no. I just drive, you know what I'm saying? I drive anyways. >> THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. YOU YOU JUST DRIVE ANYWAYS. >> YEAH, YOU GET IT. >> YEAH, that's cool. Um this last one right here, Bobby. Now this is a big one. >> Okay, I'm ready.

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