Farmer Wants A Wife....Do They Make Them like Mama Anymore?

farmer wants a wife just got the cows fed got the four-wheeler sitting there sitting here in my beautiful outdoor kitchen on 150 acre beautiful Farm here in the foothills of the blidge mountains of North Carolina and I am a divorce I am a farmer I started this operation about eight years ago maybe nine years ago I had a dream of building my own first generation farm and that dream has come to fruition I had that dream with my former spouse and we are now separated I'm not really going to go into detail about why she and I are separated but I am going to go into detail about a few things that I think are important now first of all let's start with should you get married in the first place I I'm a military veteran I'm a college graduate I started building this Farm in my mid-30s I didn't get married until I was 35 so the relationship that I established with my former spouse started when when I was about 32 I went out and I had fun and I djed and I sang I played music I was in bands and I enjoyed that life I really enjoyed that life I was an outgoing outspoken person that really loved to have fun but I felt a calling back to the land and a calling back to the soil and on my very first date and I think you guys the first thing we need to establish here is that on your very first encounter with anyone whom you might consider one day being your partner being your spouse I think you need to be absolutely wholeheartedly open with that person and on my very very first date with my former spouse I told her I want to move back to the country I want to get closer to my parents who live about 15 minutes that way and 15 minutes that way they are separated also they've been divorced for gosh 20 plus years so I think it's important that you set those boundaries or guidelines or expectations on your very first date on your very first encounter they need to know who you are now do I consider myself the typical farmer guy what you guys would think of the old bibbed overall kind of country old bo talk like right here do I consider myself that person I think that there is a stigma out there that farmers and country folks are somehow beneath uh city Folk and I think a lot of folks write farmers and Country folk rural folk off as being hay seeds and country people that simply have no manners or have no class or have no education or have no cth or carry themselves funny or they find Value in things that are different than what you might find Value in and I do think that blue collar workers even white collar workers that work outside I would say have a different Outlook and a different uh spatial awareness when it comes to the seasons when it comes to life and death and when it comes to just life all together the hustle and bustle of town the hustle and bustle of City living I just find that to be a fallacy a complete fallacy the the hustle and bustle of City living is nothing compared to the hustle and bustle of a farm and the things that you have to think about so farmer wants a wife what do you want out of life so farming land rural complex person a complex individual love care this is what we want what a man wants from a woman and I think what a woman wants from a man a rural person that's not ashamed to go to town and eat at a fancy restaurant a fancy person that's not ashamed to get out here and pick up rocks all day on the farm all of these things are inherently important in establishing any type of relationship with a farmer or with a country person or even with a city person we need to think about the complexities of that individual I think it's super important so what does a farmer's partner need to know a farmer's partner needs to know they're living rural they need to understand the complexities of farm life they need to understand Seasons they need to understand that life and death and all of this occurs all the time on a farm they need to understand it to not get completely crushed when a chicken passes away down there in the chicken Co it's going to happen it's not your pet so much as it's an animal that's there to serve you this needs to be something that is discussed if you are dating or if you're considering marrying a farmer and if you can't get past that then you can't live with a farmer that raises animals or a farmer that raises crops for that matter because let's just face it there are things that are out there trying to eat your crops that you've got to keep up with there are moles VES deer coyotes all sorts of stuff that are all trying to take back what you building and working so hard for so what type of a person is a farmer looking for and you guys share this with me too is this going to hit home for you even if you're not a farmer so the type of partner I'm looking for is a friend someone who's loyal someone who's honest always honest not just honest when something good has happened but honest mainly when something that's not so good has happened being honest is something that I think is just gone by the wayside that we're just living in this world of dishonesty nowadays and it's such a heartbreaking thing honesty is the number one in my mind honesty and dependability those are the number one and the number two things that make a relationship successful whether it's a relationship with your business partner or relationship with your spouse your brother your mother your cousin your grandma anybody honesty and dependability a farmer needs a partner that listens that knows how to listen and knows how to follow instructions to work together to accomplish a common goal a farmer's wife can't be too good for something okay she can't be too good to go out here and pick rocks she can't be too good to shovel manure she can't be too good to listen she can't be too good to take the garbage out she or he these petty little things that we bicker about and scorekeep that's something else it's super important for every relationship it's a fail Beyond fail Beyond fail scorekeeping is horrible for every relationship but anyhow the petty things that we tend to argue about in our daytoday lives are so super Petty when it comes down to it the life of these animals the seasons on this Farm the waterways The Creeks the ponds the grasses all of that stuff takes presidence over your petty bull crap the taking out of the garbage or you didn't wipe the toilet seat mention these things if these things are super important sit down and talk about them but don't score and don't be Petty about it because if you are that is always going to be a recipe for disaster if I score keep and say well I've been out feeding animals all day long what have you been doing just know and trust that she's doing her very best or he's doing his very best and if he's not meeting your expectation sit down and have an absolutely mature conversation about it and if that person can't sit down with you and have that mature conversation with you then that is not the person for you and you need to sit down and have that conversation also what about a nag a husband can be a nag and a wife can be a nag if you over nag your wife or you over nag your husband and you know you do it stop now don't be a nag I'm going to tell you guys some stories at the end of this about dates that I've been on and about things that I've experienced that are absolutely ridiculous and horrible on how I knew right then and there to cut it short end it now and that was it okay and I'll also tell you even in my marriage that these signs presented themselves at times and I ignored them when I should have spoken up and talked about them early on in my marriage I should have done that and I failed myself that way I haven't always been the nicest person I haven't always been the best person to get along with I haven't always been the best communicator but I don't ignore problems and you've got to have a spouse that you can work through problems with in an amicable way so that everybody is happy at the end of the day now let me share some experiences that I've had on dates okay so I've been in the dating World here I've been divorced for right around 3 and 1/2 years years I've been in the dating world for about 3 and a half years and some of the things that I've experienced were one thing I had someone helping me in my shop we're just hanging up banners and this young lady tossed a magnet up to me and I said okay now gently toss that magnet up here to me so I can catch it and I can stick it on there and I can hang this banner up in the garage you're trying to tell me what to do then she slung it up there and hit me in the tooth with a little magnet Kaka right in the tooth do you think we went on another date no way we're just dating you're on your best behavior you're supposed to be your shining star when you just get together and you're just dating and uh the words came out of that young lady's mouth that you and my dad are always trying to tell me how to do things out done get so bad so bad so I think maybe this video is more directed to what defines a good partner and a good spouse secondly and I want you guys to really chime in on all this what makes you think or me think that we have to be married what makes us think that I'm 47 years old I got married when I was 32 fully expecting to start a family out here on this property on this farm and my marriage crumbled it fell apart it fell apart mainly to dishonesty uh to its detriment was dishonesty um I I still very much love my ex-wife I care about her I wish her all the best I hope that in the future um that we both can learn from our experience together but I think that being honest working together not being too good for anything in other words don't put yourself on a pedestal communicate communicate communicate that's the main thing I think so do you guys think I know some of you have been through divorces you've been through relationships you may own property you may not own property you may be 85 years old and you may be 25 years old do you think you need to get married do you think you have to have kids I want children I wanted children out here on the farm having 150 acre farm for kids to play in the creek and enjoy growing up this way I grew up this way I think it's important I think it's important for children to grow up and learn values the same values that we're talking about right here right now and if those values weren't instilled in that woman or man that you are talking to or you are potentially considering as a partner or as a spouse if those values were not instilled in that person as a very young person it is extremely difficult to get that value system ingrained into that person's head I grew up like this they don't grow up like this can you bring I POS the question can you bring a city girl to the country now I lived in downtown I lived in Greensboro North Carolina downtown right downtown could walk to the baseball field could walk to all the little restaurants and bars right downtown now I'm living right here this place is bigger than the whole downtown I used to live in but I can do it I don't don't understand why some can and some can't and I think it all boils down to where your heart lies and where your passion lies if you're seeking a spouse just like I am I'm in the dating World be sure you pick the right person be sure you really think it through and be sure you write down what you're looking for in a partner thank you guys we'll see you next time on a Stony Ridge