How to Spot a Liar

your customers are going to lie to you the guys on your crew are going to lie to you sometimes the people that Supply you materials are going to lie to you how can you tell when they're lying to you there's a lot of Articles a lot of videos there's a lot of information out there about liars in the workplace okay I had the chance to interview Carol kiny gemman and she wrote the silent language of leaders and she wrote another book how to spot a liar in the workplace and after chitchatting with her for a while I think I got some insight for you guys one of the things that we got to establish right away is a baseline Behavior so what you really want to do if you want to tell if someone's lying to you've got to understand they're not going to have beady eyes or squinty eyes there's not going to be any telltale signs where they're flopping their arms up or down or doing anything in particular but what you want to do is you want to talk to them you want to engage them in a conversation and monitor how they act how their body acts the tone of their voice while they're just having a normal conversation with you maybe they're talking about the weather or their latest sports or whatever anything that is a non-controversial subject okay get that Baseline Behavior established because when a person lies to you they become uncomfortable fact of the matter is they can't stop that lying to someone makes you uncomfortable that's just the way we're built okay and so what you look for are the subtle changes the little nuances that they're going to change when they lie to you there's a couple things that you may notice you may notice a rise in their voice while they're lying to you another thing is a stalling tactic so if you ask your customer or you ask one of the guys on your crew a question and they don't answer you right now away or they stall or they repeat the question what they're trying to do is give themselves time to come up with an [Music] answer if they do that that's your first indicator something is is going on and so you want to really make sure that you understand and pay attention to everything they say after the fact another thing that they may do that is an indicator that there might be an issue is rubbing their hands together if they rub their hands together now they're not going to do the M thing they're not going to do that but it's just one of those things where maybe while they're talking to you they do something like this that means they're trying to come up with an answer also truth is simple and to the point don't forget that when you're telling someone the truth there's your answer when you're telling someone a lie you have to concoct something and then you have to remember what the hell it is you're talking about now you need to understand yourself for a moment we tend to want to believe people that we like we tend to like people that are like us so if you find somebody and they're a lot like you and you have a lot of common interest and commonality you're going to want to believe what they say even when they're lying right to you even when they're holding up a red shovel and telling you it's yellow you're going to want to believe them because you like them you got to get over that crap that's going to hold you back telling who's lying to you isn't black and white it isn't a science that is perfected but there are techniques that you can pick up on remember establish that Baseline that is what you're looking for any deviation from that any rise in the in the pitch of your voice anything like that is going to be indicators that something is up up the stalker stair what does that mean sometimes you guys you're going to come across a person that is such a good liar there's they've got it down so much that instead of avoiding eye contact which is typical when you're lying you kind of tend to look away or you're thinking and you're saying something and you can't make up another really good sign that someone could possibly be lying to you is if they there's basically four indicators in these aren't Universal these aren't ad adamant but if you see all four there's a really good chance they're telling they're talking [ __ ] to you rubbing the hands we co we covered if they cross their arms when they're talking to you now this could also mean they're cold but this is definitely a sign that they're shutting off their body to whatever it is you're saying and they're protecting themselves from whatever it is they're saying if they lean back while you're while they're talking to you or you're talking to them another great indicator that a lie is either about to be told or or they're telling a lie so if they go back like this and then the last one is if they're rubbing their face so if they're rubbing their face rubbing their hands doing anything like this while you're talking to them they're stalling when you're talking to them they can't come up with short simple answers Guess What folks the shit's getting deep you better put your waiters on this doesn't come from me I studied body language for years I love but studying body language this comes from Carol Kinsey gemman who wrote the book on it how to spot Liars in the workplace there's a lot of information floating around out there I wanted to get this to you because I had the chance to talk to her and I think this is the most accurate up-to-date information that you can get so look for those four indicators one of the things that I asked that I want to dispel a myth on was rubbing the back of the neck to me that always meant that hey you know what I think somebody's lying to me if they're talking to me they can't look at me they're rubbing their back of the neck really what it means is they have a question it's not they're lying it's that they're uncomfortable they have something they want to bring up to you they don't know how to do it and this is a way to soothe themselves so a lot of fun things that you can learn out there and I know we're we've covered body language before but this is something that I just can't stress enough how important it is to really drive this stuff home when you get a chance go check out her website Carol Kinsey Gman pick up one of her books I highly recommend it and as always if you have questions guess what I love hearing from you guys I absolutely love talking to you guys I love emailing I love just communicating with you guys everything you send me I read so get a comment put it down below subscribe share do whatever you can I love you guys I hope you guys have an awesome weekend a great week and I hope this stuff is helping you out doing the best I can have a good one you